So what?

We don't get out much. What I mean is that we don't take many vacations. This year we haven't taken one. Last summer we went back home to see our parents. Each of the two previous years we went to Walt Disney World. Nothing the year before that and seven years ago we went to DC, Philly and NYC. My brother lives in NYC and my mom offered to take all of us up there and to stop on the way for a few days in DC and Philadelphia. If she hadn't paid and offered, we couldn't have gone.

So that's our pattern. I get 3 weeks of vacation a year and I sometimes use one. Our favorite so far has been our trips to Disney. We went with friends both years and we got the tickets/hotel/dining plan, which made things very easy for us. Our little girl got to see her friends from our previous home, she got autographs and pictures with tons of characters, and quite frankly it really was just "magical" all the way around. It's truly the only vacation I've ever been on where I was sad to see it end and to drive back home.

My next favorite was our trip to DC. I had fun in New York because I hadn't been since I was a kid, we got to see some cool stuff, and I got to see my brother. Philly was nice, too, but I really enjoyed the Capitol. It was my first time seeing the WWII memorial, watching the Changing of the Guard at Arlington, and actually being old enough to enjoy reading the plaques at the various memorials. And of course I liked being back at the Air and Space Museum.

See, we lived close to DC when I was in 2nd-5th grades and my parents worked downtown. On off-days from school we would sometimes go with them to work, then spend the day wandering around the historic area. DC is full of free stuff. The four of us would walk around (under my sister's watchful eye) and see all our favorites. It truly is a place you can visit over and over again and never catch it all. It's always updated, especially the Smithsonian, and there's always something new.

Why the long story? Pay attention.

A few days ago my bride, little girl and I were going somewhere and while we were in the car, our past vacations came up in conversation. Then my bride muttered to me that her mother has always wanted to go to Washington DC (which I knew). This year marks their 40th anniversary and she suggested it to my father-in-law. His response: "I've already been there." What a horse's rear end. He also threw up some excuses about their business and not being able to take time away from it. Their business? They sell stuff on ebay. I'm not saying they don't work hard at it and take it seriously. What I AM saying, however, is that their customers will understand if there is a note saying "We will be gone for 10 days. If you win a bid or place an order between these dates, your order will be shipped upon our return." Done.

But this is a pattern. If you think I'm the only one peeved about it, you're off. My bride rolls her eyes about it more than I do. Long story short, it's just selfish. SHE has never been and wants to go. They can afford it (she's the more money-conscious one, so she wouldn't suggest it otherwise), so what's the hold-up. In addition, our current residence is a good overnight spot (or a few days) between their home and the Nations's Capitol. If nothing else, it could be, "Hey, let's go see our family and while we're out that way we can drive a little further to DC." Great idea? I think so.

So here's the question for us, fellow grooms: "So what?"

"So what if that's not my favorite restaurant?"

"So what if it's a chick flick?"

"So what if we've already been there?"

"So what if that's not MY favorite sex act?

"So what if... (insert action/object/place/idea here)?"

This is what it means to be a servant, gentlemen. Our wives typically appreciate us doing things that aren't specifically our favorites JUST BECAUSE they make our wives happy. So what that the flowers will be dead in a week? So what that we can't have chocolate and that she'll only eat her three favorite pieces? So what that I don't know the people she went to school with and wants to meet for dinner?

How many things has your bride done for you REGARDLESS of how she truly felt about it? Do you think she's ever eaten where you want? How many "man movies" has she seen with you? Has she ever worked in the yard so you don't have to mess with it after work or on a weekend? Is there anything you've requested in bed, that she does ONLY because it turns you on?

It's time to pull our heads out of our butts and to start serving our wives and children. Look yourself in the eye and ask yourself if you're making these small sacrifices. At least be honest with yourself if you won't be with your bride. And the next time your wife suggests something that you don't care for, tell yourself, "I'm not a big fan, but so what?" When you tell your wife yes, the only thing she will hear is, "I love you."